Why Am I The Only Girl Here? (War Gaming)

2520734First of all, sorry for my delay in writing about Sky’s and Lotta’s adventures. I’ve been so busy trying to get my student visa application in order, which honestly is a great pain in the butt. I will get the second part (and last) story of Sky finished next week.

In the meantime, I wanted to share an experience and ask anyone that might  be (or have been) in the same situation as me.

I’ll provide you with some basic guidelines that you need to be in the same boat as me:

  1. You have to identify as a girl/woman/female. You get the idea.
  2. Be a geek. Not advertise yourself as one, because it’s cool, like this lady:


(a model)

But more like this chick:


(That’s me. If you don’t know what the shirt refers to, watch Avatar:The Last Airbender series and then go on to Legend of Korra)

    3. Play war games, specifically tabletop games, like these:

Ed Unbound 04

(picture taken from

Or when you don’t have an awesome terrain and painted miniatures, it looks more like this:


(picture taken with my phone, playing Warmachine and Hordes)

If you don’t have that background, you’re still very much welcome to comment and give me your insight about the situation.

You see, I found myself to be the only girl at a weekly gathering of tabletop players, where we play mostly Warmachine and Hordes. The only girl out of 54 people.

At first, the guys there obviously treated me differently, but now I think they got used to me. I guess, I’m less of an alien…? They are really friendly and helpful too, since I started playing Warmachine about a month ago.

good games

I know there are girls out there defying the gaming industry that is still geared mostly towards men. We play PC and console games, board games, DnD, watch anime, and so on. What about tabletop games though? I love them so much for the strategy, the models, and themes involved. It would be great to meet a fellow female that plays too…

Are you a tabletop player? Why do you think there’s so little girls playing tabletop games?



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30 thoughts on “Why Am I The Only Girl Here? (War Gaming)

  1. lol that picture is priceless 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m not a gamer girl, but I am a gamer guy who loves tabletop games and is married to a lady gamer. Certainly when I was a teen (ahem… a little over 20 years ago), gamer girls were far more rare than any of the magical creatures we encountered in D&D. But in going to local con’s in recent years, the scene at the gaming tables I was at had changed immensely: I would say most of the games had girls comprising 30-40% of the participants. So maybe it’s a quirk of your area or the event? Either way, keep being your awesome geeky self!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello, first of all, do not qualify as a war gamer, but do qualify as a woman, not a show off. Can you resist writing about men? No! Because that’s what they do write about, war, of men and war. Throughout history, war was fought by men, one exception was, Joan of Arc, to make it a game in death is to banalize it. To many precious lives have been decimated in the name of country and whatever man has seen as a valid excuse for obtaining power. From the point of view of many civilizations, it was a means to an end. Which war do the gamers adhere to? Or to their own fantasy? In being part if a civilization, that seeks to promote ” Love thy neighbour as thyself”, I feel strangely outnumbered… As for table top games, I enjoy ping pong a lot, boogle, not google, great interaction, and being a nerd lacks physical exercise. You’re right about the photos they are fun and the nerd is war-game stressed type, dead-on, pardon the pun.


    • I feel that you are a bit confused about the subject Lu. Table top gaming is not a general term for games played on tables, it’s a specifically a game that is played with miniature models as I have shown on the pictures. You seem to be referring to war in human history, while I am purely talking about games that have a theme of war, just like chess.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Correction: “…in being part of a…”


  5. on said:

    You are keeping me in suspence, Sessela!!!!!

    Wishing you well and happy.

    Love from all of us.

    Granny xoxooxoox

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Please review your feelings and consider that war games are a provocation to enjoy a man made world where love has no room. Whether in fantasy or in real life representation, war is war, destruction, Can you take the action of war out of the meaning of war and make a game of war? What is your feeling for war games?Is chess a war game like the miniatures in the photo? My understanding of chess is one of the theme of strategy, not obliterating the opponent. And finally why do you feel I am confused, when you are confounded with the lack of “female” interest in such war games… Much appreciation for the invitation to share my views on war-like games in the world of on-going war, Middle East, Ukraine, Africa, and each country has their local internal horror.


    • There is no lack of interest as Aethereal Engineer pointed out. The game is not about obliterating your opponent: more often you have to strategically capture a point or two on the terrain. It’s actually very similar to chess, in a way where you have to “kill the king” or check mate it, you have to do the same to the leader of the opposing army, which is the Warcaster or Warlock. It’s a game and has nothing to do with the real world. We shake our hands before we start playing and after the game is over. It’s all about respect and fun.


  7. In chess, the object is to check mate, the accepted and official term. Why are you so bent on saying “kill the king”. whether it deals with the”real world ” , in your view, or not, it still is war, a reality and killing is still a spill over from the real world into the fantasy one you share with others and has an effect on the human psyche. The names of the miniatures or gamers or participants reiterate within using ….war, or War…. It seems to me, like banging the nail on the head. Further, I didn’t say that there was a lack of interest, but merely pointed out your observation being the only one woman among 54 people(boys?). My point in debating this is to create an open discussion and sensitize all to, perhaps, happier themes in games? Any interest? How about “Hug a Troll”? PS.: Lovely that you are user friendly….
    Thank you


    • Has an effect on human psyche? Really? Do you think that because we play war games we want to promote war or violence? No, we don’t. We like the theme of magic, the strategy involved in it and sharing fun times. It doesn’t create rifts between us but actually bonds us. It’s a game, that’s all it is. Just because you watch a thriller movie doesnt mean you’re pro violence, am I wrong? It is the same with everything else, including games. And girls play war games on computers, so being it a war themed game is irrelevant.


  8. Please open your mind to the significance of your rhetoric, a game is not a way to only have fun, but to learn, is it not? I feel you are entrenched in your war games and do not wish to understand that using war as a pretext to have fun, does indeed banalize war, plays into the realm of this world and its violence. Why do you think, that the meaning of “game ” erases the underlining, ” war”? And, finally, yes, what you adhere to shapes you, forms your mind, your choices of activities connotes your personality, “really”. Especially when you “bond” over it. Regarding your presumption that I think that you want to promote war or violence, I didn’t make any reference to this. Please explain to me why the theme of war is irrelevant, from an anthropological point of view. What happens when the theme of war is replaced by a quest for love, for example, or to save an orphan from something,….. Thank you


  9. kayloudee on said:

    Im not much of a gamer, although I own all the playstation consoles, I do love sci-fi and comic books, my dream is to go to San Diego comic con. All my friends are proper girly and even my partner isnt a sci-fi nut like me but im happy being a “geek” as such, I dont even call myself that but people (especially my workmates) call me that or a nerd >:) hi, im Kirsty!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Lu, I’m both very anti-war and pro-gaming and find your logic very strange. Playing a game based on war doesn’t banalize war any more than enjoying reading about it or writing about it. War has been a part of human history since before humans had history and it will continue to be until humans no longer exist. Warhammer and other table top battle games are very similar to chess, though more complex. In case you’re misunderstanding, you’re not actually killing anything any more than the taking of men in chess. Granted you don’t actually kill the king in chess, but you make it where the next move would mean he would be taken. Do you think the creators of chess really didn’t think of it as killing the other men when they created it? You also pointed out that you learn from games, which is very true. I’ve played many games of Warhammer and chess and I’ve learned to despise war and the people that wage them. Now before you start accuse me of being anti-military, I want to point out that I have absolute respect for the people who actually choose to become soldiers and I understand that it’s not them that choose to go to war, any more than the pawns in chess choose to move forward. The ones I dislike are the generals etc. that decide that oil or profit is an acceptable reason to get ten of thousands of people killed. To say that people shouldn’t enjoy fantastical war is the same as saying that Lord of the Rings is a horrible book because it contains war. And just as a final little aside note, I don’t think any amount of war gaming could possibly desensitize us to war more than the media and governments already do. When a government advertises their army/navy etc on TV, showing it to be a glamorous, sought-after lifestyle, war games are the least of our worries.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your comments, I will respond shortly to your multi levelled thoughts, but quickly, will not accuse you of any anti military rhetoric! What is it that you find strange about my logic, precisely? It helps to understand, how to continue our discussion! Thanks


      • Since time is running on and few thoughts to describe human behaviour can be found to write, this is very strange. Yes, a given that war has existed , since mankind can only resort to solving his issues in this manner, but why should it also be in the world or realm of games, is this the major theme that can only sustain the interest of gamers? This is very strange to be anti war and play it. You need to put yourself on a different level of reflection. I don’t know if the one that invented the game of chess, adhered to the brutal thought or term of “killing” , when he used the term “check mate” (mate being rather a friendly term). When considering, “The Lord of the Ring”, as you’re perhaps familiar with, according to Tolkien, a Christian work, this does not make it horrible. He himself describes the horror and gruesome beasts that men are. I’m pointing out that there is a constant rehashing of killing, war, throughout “humanity” and that it is acceptable to even relax and ‘play it again’… Why do you think that treating the theme of war in game doesn’t add to desensitizing about war? You despise war, does this reaction apply to others? perhaps eventually we will come to an understanding, since our common ground is, indeed, ANTI-WAR


    • Thank you for your comment 🙂 You’ve organized all of my messy thoughts and put them in one coherent and intelligent comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. kayloudee on said:

    Hello fellow geek 🙂 I love your blog and you seem like a great person so I nominated you for the “Creative Blogger Award” 🙂

    Congratulations!! So you know what to do next go to this link, post I just made, for the details

    Hope you like 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

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